She Comes First Book Review (Sexual -Theme, Adults Only)

     As a self-professed lover of the human body, all its parts and the written word, I recognize fellow aficionado when I read one. The lesson shared here is not your typical DIY video on how to install a vanity in your bathroom, but a lyrical prose of how to become a women lover the likes of Mellors of Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

     Ian Kerner Ph.D is a sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First. This book is not just about separating the nuts and bolts out of the package before you begin, but to see the object of one’s affection as the sum of her parts. I would be remiss if I did not mention the appropriateness of the cover and title. It is often true that publishers devise the title and cover, but whoever signed off on this title and cover, hit the nail on the head. The title is catchy and to the point; it illustrates exactly what the book is about. The front cover is a picture of a sumptuous gaping papaya full of seeds and is analogous to the women’s wide contribution to giving life and love.

Excitement Phase

She Comes First could have been just another step-by-step manual for becoming a cunnlinguist of mediocre standards. However, the lexicon of this book includes, but is not limited to, a comfortable and eloquent prose by the author who knows his vagina monologue. Dr. Kerner opens up his book, admitting his own former foibles and failings as a cunnilinguist of nil repute. It is my opinion, that any man that reads this book needs to see that admission on the outset to help seal the deal. Here in these pages is a plain guy who did not know how to find the nose on his face or where to put it in proximity to the papaya. Well-written attention seeking and getting, makes this book a hit with no near misses. Now lets dive inside and see what makes it ripe for the reading.


     His chapter titles are more than metaphoric resemblances of literary prose, they are signposts for what lie ahead and within, as he deftly makes his points. While honoring the seriousness of the subject, the author interjects his own style of humor that lie in sharp-tongued Cassanova-esque drollness with the flavor of down-to-earth nerd tones.

    Dr. Kerner quickly dispels the myth that intercourse is the one best way to please a woman, noting that the vagina is a tube, not a particular vehicle of sexual pleasure for its owner. In fact, the author claims the tongue is mightier than the sword. Ian Kerner teaches us that it is not the vagina that is the pleasure center for the woman, but the erectile tissue of the clitoris and its surrounding branches that makes a woman want to do a man’s laundry. He cautions men not to turn to sex mags or video porn to learn how to please a woman.


     The author educates us on the parts of the female anatomy and what brings about the most pleasure for her. He teaches us that the clitoris is analogs to the glans penis and is just as sensitive. Systematically, Dr. Kerner shares with the reader not only to reward the women with his tongue but how to do it. Lick by lick, not prick by prick.

     He also gently dispels the myth of the G-spot as nothing more than the soft tissue up and behind the external clitoris. A divine spongy protrusion, made of soft tissue and nerve endings, form the clitoris all around the posterior of the vulva, it is not your ordinary vehicle of pleasure. There is no room for kicking tires on this model; it is the real deal and a long gentle inspection under the hood is just what a girl needs.

     Cunnilingus always has been thought of as foreplay, but Dr. Kerner dispels this myth by calling it “coreplay” and lays out six stages for the realization of a woman’s fullest potential of pleasure. Each chapter ends with quick bullets that highlight chapter content.


     A fine contribution to the field of sexology and to men who need a little direction. She Comes First is a must read for any heterosexual couple. Ladies, put this book under the remote control, he will find it.



  1. Debi


    Did you write the entire review? It is brilliant! And as a gay woman, who has never had sexual intercourse (or coreplay) with a male, extremely enlightening. Thank you and keep doin’ it, woman!

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